Embracing (and my big boobs)

Last night, I had the honour of co-hosting 250 people at a special community screening of the documentary Embrace. It was a truly magical event. All of us came together to share the positive energy in the room and to soak in Taryn’s message of body acceptance.

Embrace movie poster

250 is a big number – but it would be wonderful if the message could spread out to reach a wider audience. And the good news is that EMBRACE is now available to watch on Netflix and to download on iTunes – so you can gather up your family and friends and watch the movie in the privacy of your own home!

I had the privilege of opening the evening with a personal story and I thought I’d share it with my readers:

For those of you who don’t know me – my name is Lori Wilson and I want to welcome you here tonight and thank you for supporting this event.

Before we get started, I want to share a little story:

A few months ago, I hopped out of the shower and I scooted into my bedroom with nothing on but a towel around my hair. My teenage daughter just happened to by lying on my bed watching TV and she turned to look at me. Her eyes scanned me up and down and her mouth fell open – “Oh my god mom!” she started.

I braced myself. How was she going to finish that sentence? Was she going to comment on my blubbery belly? Was she going to gag at my saggy butt or my dimply thighs (that definitely don’t have the obligatory gap between them). Was she going to use the dreaded f-word….FAT! I stood there totally vulnerable.

 I steeled myself in the moment and waited for what was coming. My daughter said – “Oh my god mom! Your boobs are huge! I wonder if mine will be that big one day too?” And she turned back to her tv show.

 I had to chuckle to myself. My boobs! She looked my body up and down and her only comment was on my boobs.

I realized two things in that moment. One – when my daughter looks at me – she isn’t seeing the glaringly imperfect person I’ve constructed in my own mind. She is seeing her mom – a woman with big boobs apparently.

And two- despite the fact that I am passionate about promoting healthy body image, I devour whatever reading I can get my hands on on the subject and I preach it to my kids – if I’m being perfectly honest, I am still deeply unhappy with my body. I catch myself hating how my pants fit or cringing when I pass a mirror. Or recoiling with horror when I go to take a picture with my iphone and the camera is pointed right at me!

And having talked with many of you – I know I’m not alone. I think I could comfortably speak for all of us in this room in saying we all know that we should be accepting, but we have a long way to go in making that shift happen.

That is why we wanted to share this film with you. We want to start that shift in our own mindsets and we want to support this shift happening for our friends, family members and all the females in our lives.

And though one movie might not fix the years of reprogramming that we likely need, it’s a great place to start. 

Enjoy the film! Let’s Embrace!

*If you are interested in building upon a local EMBRACE community – email embracelori@gmail.com to be added to our mailing list.

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Embrace

Last summer we took our kids to a waterpark. It was a stinkin’ hot day and we had a blast zipping down slides and cooling off in the wave pool. At one point, my husband and the older kids decided to try a toilet-bowl style ride geared for an older crowd, so my littlest and I stood at the bottom waiting for them to poop out into the basin below.

As we watched the riders happily splash down in front of us, little K pulled on my arm and pointed to a child exiting the water nearby – “Hey mommy, I don’t like that girl” he stated . “Why not?” I asked. I’d never seen her before. “Because she’s fat” he answered matter-of-factly.

I just about fell over backwards! Body image has been the monkey on my back for as long as I can remember, and I’ve worked hard to overcome my own insecurities and to foster an environment of acceptance and kindness within my own family. And goddamn it – no child of mine was going to shame someone because of the shape of their body!

I knelt down and spent the next ten minutes lecturing my son about the beauty in all body shapes and the importance of never, ever judging other people. Trust me, he got an earful. He listened intently, then ran off with his siblings to enjoy another slide. “Crazy kid” I mumbled to myself. I figured he must have picked up that nonsense on television.

Then a few months later I had dinner with a group of girlfriends- all of them brilliant, beautiful women with high-powered careers, incredible families, strong opinions and the passion and means to affect change in the world.

And yet. Our conversations that night kept coming back to the same thing – body image. We shared stories of how weight has impacted our sex lives, and contributed to feeling too physically disgusting to appear naked in front of our spouses – even with the lights off. We talked about caloric intake and the restrictive cleanses we’d endured – all the while feeling sick and deprived. We discussed our boobs (too small, too big, too saggy) and our butts (too big, too small, too saggy) – and we even dissected our individual diets and compared notes about what foods and drinks (or lack thereof) would help us achieve thinner, happier, sexier, less-wrinkly versions of ourselves.

As I laughed and commiserated and chimed in, something struck me: that friggin’ monkey is still clinging stubbornly to my back. Because for all of my lip service about acceptance and self love – a really big part of me still believes that being thin is equated with being better. And the fact that I have droopy post-nursing boobs and a squishy belly – in my own mind, ultimately means that I am losing at womanhood..and at life.

Then I came across a “before and after” photo on social media that changed my whole perspective. Taryn Brumfitt posted side-by-side images of herself posing with a muscular body-builders physique (before) and then with a softer, curvier body (after). It was revolutionary!

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Here was a woman actually showing off her curves, and rolls, and stretch marks. Proudly! Her impish smile belied the fact that she was actually HAPPIER with her less-toned and heavier body. My mind was blown.

I learned that Taryn had gone on a crusade to  uncover “why poor body image has become a global epidemic and what women everywhere can do to have a brighter future.” She turned her findings into a documentary called Embrace “A funny, touching, at times gut wrenching but above all, life changing documentary, the heart of Embrace is Taryn’s story. How she went from a body hater to a body lover. From being devastated by her perceived ugliness to proudly posing nude for the whole world to see.”

I downloaded Embrace as soon as it was released and sobbed my heart out through almost the entire thing. I could relate to so many of the women in the film who shared feelings of inadequacy and failure when discussing their bodies, and I felt inspired to make a change.

So can I do it? Can I move my body in an effort to be strong and healthy without obsessing over the calories I’ve burned, or whether or not I’ll be able to squeeze into my old jeans after a long run? Can I enjoy food without worrying about each and every bite? Can I show my children that I am a confident and fully-actualized woman no matter what size my body is? I honestly don’t know. But I am willing to try. And Embrace is the perfect place to start.

Taryn - ornament

I am beyond thrilled to be co-hosting a special community screening of the life-changing/perspective-shifting/monkey-on-back-destroying documentary Embrace – right here in Burlington, Ontario.

Please join me and my friends Sue Abell and Joelle Cooling on Thursday, June 1st at 7pm at the Art Gallery of Burlington . Tickets are $10 and are available for purchase by contacting me directly at lori@vaportek.ca, or by emailing Sue at sue@treadpowerfully.com, or by visiting Joelle’s clothing store at 457 Brant Street in downtown Burlington.

Come and enjoy a glass of wine, a bag of popcorn and an opportunity to fully love and embrace your body. Together – we can be part of a movement to create positive global change. Let’s Embrace!

On Judging Other Women

We are die-hard Dancing With The Stars Fans at my house. On Monday nights we excitedly retire to the basement with drinks and popcorn in hand to revel in two solid hours of ballroom bliss. We love the incredible dancing, the relationships that form between partners, the personal stories that unfold and the fun of watching the pros work their magic on novice celebrity dancers.

Recently we were enjoying a DWTS episode when I made a flippant comment about the way plastic surgery has altered the face of one of my favourite childhood actresses. My daughter immediately took me to task: “What do you mean mom? I don’t see anything wrong with her face. She’s pretty.”

I immediately regretted my words. I work hard to practice acceptance and kindness (with varying degrees of success apparently) and here I was mouthing off about another woman. How can I expect my daughter to be non-judgemental with her peers if I am so darn quick to jump in to comment on the private decisions that another woman has made about her appearance?

I quickly apologized for my thoughtless words and admitted that my daughter was absolutely correct – the actress is pretty….and she is also fully entitled to do whatever the heck she wants to her own face and body. Because the truth of the matter is that it is only out of the insecurities I have about my own aging face and body that I would dare to pass such critical judgement on another woman.

This incident reminded me of a powerful blog post written by one of my favourite authors in the world- Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love). I have this post printed out and I have read it and reread it and reread it again. And I will keep on re-reading it until the message is fully embedded in my far-from-perfect, sometimes-judgemental and often insecure brain. It is an incredibly powerful piece and reminds me that as women we need to embrace our differences and accept each other just as we are. And that goes for our friends, our family, strangers,  celebrities and every single one of the actresses on Dancing With The Stars.

**(follow the link below to read Elizabeth Gilbert’s piece. Email subscribers – you may need to go to my site at http://www.lorileighwilson.com to click the link)

 

 

Swearing, Connection & Vulnerability

*Warning: If you are offended by swearing then this post might not be for you! 

I think I’ve mentioned in the past that my 4-year-old has picked up some unfortunate bad language. I’m not 100% sure where it all started but with his 13-year-old brother and his buddies hanging around our house all the time and with a father from Montreal (not to stereotype but I have noticed my husband’s childhood pals punctuate most of their sentences with the f-word) – it has followed that he has picked up a few doozys. And brace yourselves because he has landed on a brutal one……his latest gem is “bitch”.

I can literally hear you gasping through the computer screen. Yep – it’s awful. We certainly don’t use that word in our home but somehow he picked it up and someone laughed (probably his brother) or overreacted (probably me) and he decided that “bitch” was going to become his bad word of choice. Now don’t get me wrong – he doesn’t go around using the word all day long, but if his buttons are pushed or he’s being taunted by his siblings or teased by his cousins- he’ll let loose with a “you bitch!”

And yes this is deeply embarrassing. As much as I try to remember that my child is not a reflection of me, it still stings when he calls his brother a “bitch” at Thanksgiving dinner (sorry mom).  And I have tried absolutely everything to get him to stop and nothing has worked. Not even the threat of no Santa presents has convinced him to clean up his language.

Frankly, before I wrote this post I tried not to tell too many people because I was afraid of being judged as a bad mother. The few times I have confessed to close friends I’ve heard “oh my, we don’t allow bad language in our house” or “my children would never ever swear!”. Ok well I appreciate the honesty (and I’m happy for you…sort of ; ) but in the end those interactions always made me feel a whole lot worse about my situation.

About a month ago I was chatting with a friend who also has a 4-year-old son. We were laughing about some of the challenges and funny things they do when she suddenly admitted “oh yah – and now my little darling has started saying “fuck-wad”! He’s even using it in public if he get’s annoyed. The other day he called my daughter and a bunch of her girlfriends “fuck-wads” right in front of a big group of parents standing around at school. I could have died!”

Well I literally stopped in my tracks. “What’s wrong?” she asked. And I told her my story. She just listened and nodded and laughed. And when I finished she smiled at me and said “Well, let me know what works for you and I’ll do the same. It’s nice to know there is someone else going through the same thing.” I cannot even tell you how much better I felt just knowing that I wasn’t alone – it was like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.

“When we show up in our perfect imperfection, it gives others permission to relax into doing the same.”

Ali Schueler, Wild Woman Speaks

So I’m sharing my story -this very personal (and embarrassing) story in the hopes that you will feel inspired to also let yourself become just a little bit more vulnerable. In this social media culture, it’s easy to get caught up in the idea that everyone’s lives are composed of one perfect snapshot after another. But life is messy and wonderful and sad and scary and funny….sometimes all of these things at once. That’s what it is to be human isn’t it? If we are willing to share some of our challenges and struggles then we might just find more genuine connection with the people in our lives…. and maybe even encourage them to open up as well. Sometimes our screw ups and painful experiences contain powerful lessons that we can learn from and share with others.

Let’s face it – we all have those things in our lives that we wrestle with and that make us feel vulnerable. Maybe you don’t have a 4-year-old who swears like a truck driver but perhaps you struggle with feelings of depression or anxiety, or feel overwhelmed at home or work, or are dealing with a difficult child or spouse or are feeling stuck in your current situation. Whatever it is I guarantee you will feel so much better if you can open up and share with a trusted confidante. Maybe they’ll say “Hey – me too!” And you will realize (no matter how many swear words you have had to endure) that you are not alone. What a gift!

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3 Stellar Suggestions Especially For The Ladies

As the summer holiday winds down here in Ontario, I’m going to take a little writing break to focus on really enjoying the last unscheduled days with the kids. In the meantime, I thought I’d share a few things especially for the wonderful women in my life (don’t worry guys – you’ll enjoy them too):

Incredible Blog Post:

My name is Lori Wilson and I have no interior decorating skills. Like zero. Yes I live in a nice house in a lovely neighbourhood – but it’s furnished with more than a few pieces of mismatched furniture that my parent’s kindly gave us when they moved several years ago. Oh and there’s that black broken shutter on one of our front windows (damn hockey puck!)… and the series of framed pictures of my children and nieces and nephew dressed up in cheesy old-fashioned clothing proudly hung in the hallway (because they make me happy : ). And the list goes on and on. I have days that I’m ok with my “not-so-fancy-or-trendy-but-very-homey-and-lived-in” house and other days that I want to scrap everything for a complete makeover right this freakin’ instant. That is why I absolutely loved Momastery blogger Glennon Doyle Melton’s recent piece called “Give Me Gratitude or Give Me Debt”. Glennon is a brilliant writer (seriously- follow her blog!) and this piece is one of her best in my humble opinion. It made me nod my head, chuckle, shed a few tears and sincerely reconsider things. My “perspectacles” have been affixed and adjusted accordingly. A must read!

Give Me Gratitude or Give Me Debt

Inspiring  Video (plus bonus photos):

I grew up at a time when announcing that you were a “feminist” was a guaranteed conversation killer. I can remember feeling embarrassed by my  beliefs as a young woman – at a time when I should have been celebrating my passion for equality and social justice. I am so grateful that young feminists like Kat Lazo are brave enough to challenge the stereotypes around feminism and to proudly stand up to continue the fight for equal rights for everyone. I encourage you to watch her 10-minute TedX talkFeminism Isn’t Dead – it’s Gone Viralwith your daughters, sisters, nieces, mothers and girlfriends. It’s powerful.

*email subscribers – you’ll need to go to my site at http://www.lorileighwilson to get the link on the video to play.

As a bonus – you’ve also got to check out the brilliant revamped captions put on celebrity photos in a piece called “What Tabloid Headlines Would Look Like If They Didn’t Treat Women Like Sex Objects”  Here is a sample:

*to see all of the photos, click the link on the title or the photo

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My Favourite Summer Read:

There is nothing like a great summer novel. For me, the best ones are always fast-paced, scandalous, funny, suspenseful and utterly decadent (kids – leave mom alone….I’ve just got to finish this chapter!) I have loved all of Lianne Moriarty’s novels but her latest “Big Little Lies” was far and away my favourite read this summer. It’s a wicked mystery with lots of twists and turns and also an honest and funny look at the often complicated relationships that can develop between women. Trust me – you’ll absolutely love it!

big little lies

So that’s for you ladies – a few of things to ponder and poke around at the end of August. I hope you like them as much as I did. Read, watch, listen and enjoy.

An Open Letter to Youth Competitive Dance

Dear Youth Dance Competition Organizers and Judges,

First of all, I would like to start by thanking you for providing a forum for my daughter to express her passion. At 10 years old, she revels in the opportunity to move her body and pour her feelings and creativity into music and movement. Even when she isn’t training, she will most often spend her free time choreographing new routines and practicing the moves that have turned her into a strong and athletic young girl. And make no mistake, she is an athlete. And this is in no small part due to the focused training she undertakes in preparation for competition.

Like any competitive sport, there are things that I don’t love about dance – the incredibly high cost, the countless hours that make family dinners all but a distant memory from September to June and the scant costumes (many of which will come in handy if my daughter ever parlays her dance training into something involving a G-string and a pole). But like all parents who agree to enroll their children into competitive endeavors, I appreciate that I sometimes have to take the good with the bad and these are the issues I will grit my teeth and contend with as long as my daughter continues to love this sport.

There is however one thing I just cannot wrap my brain around. One thing that makes me sad and frustrated at the same time. Here’s my problem – can you please tell me why I am required to plaster my beautiful daughter’s face in layers of gaudy makeup and absurdly long false eyelashes in order for her to compete on stage? And why every dancer from the tender age of 6 must endure hours in front of a mirror layering on powders, blushes and lipsticks only to come out looking like ridiculous overly sexualized young women?

Here is why I have a real issue with this – you are essentially telling a group of young athletes (the vast majority of them girls) that they are not good enough just as they are. That all of the hours of sweat and training are not quite enough to prepare them to compete in front of a panel of judges. Instead of celebrating their natural beauty and athleticism, they must further prepare by slapping on face powder and body glitter and hairspray themselves to within an inch of their lives to make themselves presentable. In order to fulfill the advanced requirements of the sport, they must transform themselves from beautiful innocent young performers into sexy made-up temptresses.

When I’ve asked around, I’ve been informed that the makeup enhances the quality of the performances. And I can understand this point only in relation to particular themes – perhaps a zombie dance would require ghostly white faces and fake scars or a smurf song would lend itself to blue faces and costumes. But I’m talking about the lion’s share of dances that regardless of the theme or music require all female performers to apply obscene amounts of eyeshadow, mascara, foundation, blush and lipstick.

Now I’ve also been told that the thick and often garish makeup is applied to allow the judges to see the girls faces better. But if that were truly the case then why don’t I see bright pink gloss or spidery lashes on the equally talented male performers? Maybe I’m missing something but I’ve yet to see a young man dance across the stage in a belly shirt with rouged cheeks and a head full of laughable attached ringlets.

Can you imagine any other competitive sport where the athletes would have to endure such indignity before competition? Would we send our children who play rep level soccer or hockey or football or lacrosse onto the playing field wearing ruby-red lipstick and purple blush to better appreciate their athleticism? Are gymnasts, swimmers and track stars forced to spend hours in the mirror pre-comp carefully affixing 1-inch lashes to enhance the visual aspect of their performance?

And am I the only one who finds this completely nuts? Because I’m really starting to think I am. I have always been shocked by how few of my friends share my discomfort with this requirement. “Oh Lori” they say “it’s just part of the sport.” “The girls will lose marks if they aren’t wearing makeup” or “My daughter loves getting all made up.” To this last comment I say yes – my sister and I spent many an hour as young girls slopping piles of my mom’s discarded makeup all over ourselves and having a ball. But it wasn’t mandatory to any activity we were participating in. It was simply for fun.

I do not consider myself a dance mom any more than I’m a soccer or hockey mom to my sons. I’m simply one mother stumbling my way through parenthood trying to do what is best for my children. And like most parents I will support them in their choices as long as they are reasonable and not life threatening. But I also want to teach my children to speak up when something feels wrong and to challenge conventions when they are outdated or unreasonable (and you can bet I’ve had many frank discussions with my daughter about my feelings around makeup and dance).

And please don’t misunderstand me – this is not meant to be a dig at any particular person or studio. I happen to love where my daughter dances and her talented teachers and I’ll be the first to admit that I had a blast watching her on stage at each and every one of her competitions last season. I’m only asking that as a collective – moms, dads, kids, studio owners, teachers, competition organizers and judges – that we take a good hard look at this particular requirement and perhaps decide that at least for these young athletes- dance should be appreciated as a sport and an art form that ultimately needs no artificial embellishment.

To the organizers of the competitions and the judges, I can tell you this for sure- if you lose the makeup you might not see bright pink lips or electric blue eye lids but I can guarantee you will have a much better view of the pure and unaltered joy on the dancers faces. You will see natural smiles and cheeks flushed with effort and excitement. You will see their eyes lit up with happiness and passion. And at the end of the day – isn’t that what it’s really all about?

Sincerely,

Lori

Fabulous Style Advice from An Expert

Do you know one of those women who always looks put together and stylish at every occasion – even picking up her kids from school? Hair gorgeously styled, nice fitting clothes, shoes and jewelry to match and it all looks effortlessly beautiful? I am decidedly NOT one of those women. I’m the one staring at that woman in my Lulu pants and a schlumpy sweatshirt with my hair in a ponytail. The good news is I just got off the phone with the folks at the Guinness Book of World Records and I’m in the running for “Yoga Pants Worn on Most Consecutive Days” so that’s exciting!

My friend Deborah Boland is a style expert and definitely one of those fashion plates. She is a mom of three, a television producer, the publisher of Fabulous After 40 and a beautiful person inside and out. Deb agreed to chat with me about the importance of fashion and style and how to stay current without breaking the bank.

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You can read our interview below to learn how some small changes can have a huge impact on how you look and how you feel about yourself.
(please note that most of the clothing pictures are Fabulous After 40 “What to Wear for Spring Contest” entries)

Lori: I want to be comfortable but I always seem to default to yoga pants or sweats- what’s a comfortable but more stylish alternative?

Deb: In all honesty I don’t think there’s anything more comfortable than yoga pants (LOL) but you wouldn’t wear p.j.’s to the mall. Yoga pants are a close second.

A great stylish alternative for what to wear when running around town in is colored jeans. The best ones are lightweight, stretchy and  comfy. Colored Jeans look modern and hip. Pair them with a neutral colored blouse or top (so you look less loud and more chic), some ballet flats or low wedges, and a cute jacket, and you have a great casual look that’s also very practical and versatile.

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Lori: How can I stay fashionable on a budget?

Deb: It’s all about planning your wardrobe. You know what happens when you go grocery shopping without a list. You end up with all kinds of goodies that aren’t good for you at all. Same with shopping for clothes. When you are not focused on what you need you end up falling into the “ shiny object syndrome”. You buy whatever is bright, fun, new or cool…. or on sale at a fantastically reduced price (even though you never end up wearing it.)

If you want to be fashionable without going into debt  plan out one or two main classic items per season you are willing to spend money on and build a good basic wardrobe slowly. You can make smaller less expensive purchases in-between to fill in the gaps. For example, splurge on a great colored jacket that you will wear with everything and have for many years, but skimp on that color blocked lime green and pink striped top that may be out of fashion next spring.

Lori: Is it important to stay on top of current fashion trends?

Deb: Yes, it’s important to follow trends to look modern, hip and youthful but don’t be slave to trends. Fashion is like a buffet. You don’t have to load up with everything on the table. Pick and choose which trends work for you. It’s o.k. to take a pass if it’s not right for you.

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Lori: What are your best tips for accommodating a woman’s aging/changing body?

Deb: Don’t look at size tags. Wear clothes that fit. As we age our bodies get softer and rounder. Too many women try to cover up weight issues with baggy clothing. Baggy clothing doesn’t fool anyone. It just makes you look fat and frumpy. Choose quality clothes that skim your silhouette (not cling to it) and pick clothes that are well constructed to give you shape. A jacket with a good strong shoulder  that nips in at the waist will camouflage a lot of midlife problems.

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Lori: Are there particular stores that you can recommend where I can find age-appropriate, stylish and reasonably priced clothes?

Deb: This is tough because so many store are either old lady or teeny bopper. I think Banana Republic strikes a great balance between price, quality and age appropriateness. I also like Michael Kors, which is on the higher side and BCG for their brilliant use of color. Brands like Calvin Klein, Jones new York, Ralph Lauren, Not Your Daughter’s Jeans and several other at The Bay are good quality, moderately priced and often on sale!

Lori: If you aren’t happy with your current wardrobe – where do you start if you want to make some changes?

Deb: Clean out your closet. Be brutally honest. Get rid of the things that take up space that you never wear, no matter how hard it. You can’t make way for the new unless you get rid of the old.

Then take an inventory of what you need. Research what’s in style. Make a list and shop when you are in a focused positive mood.

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Lori: Are there ways to jazz up my current wardrobe without chucking it all in the trash?

Deb: That’s a hard question to answer because it depends on the state and age of your wardrobe. But in general – two things-

1. Play with your clothes- look at magazines and see how outfits are being put together. Create outfits with what you have and try them on to see if they work. Often women have lots of clothes but they aren’t wearing them (they wear the same things over and over), or they are not combining items in a modern way.

2. Wear more color- Women, especially after 40, are notorious for falling into the all black rut. I call it ABD or Abundant Black Disorder – that compulsion to buy and wear black, black, black. Color  is energy and energy is life. Wearing color will make you look healthy, happy and youthful. Wear more color and add more color to your wardrobe.

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Lori: Tell me about your newsletter and the services you offer.

Deb: I am the publisher of Fabulous After 40– an online fashion magazine and style community for women 40, 50 and beyond. If you have fallen off the style track and need help to dump the frump I help you Tweak Your Chic®. Visit http://www.fabulousafter40.com and pick up a copy of my FREE special report 5 Massive Fashion Mistakes That Make You Look Too Old Or Too Young and How To Get It Just Right.

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Lori: Can you think of anything else that would be good to share? 

Deb: I think that’s it except to say that when you look good you feel good and life is so much more fun. As I always say, “Life is Too Short to Be Frumpy.”

Thanks so much Deb! On a personal note, I have learned that feeling good is not just about what I put in my mouth but also how I present myself. Taking the time to think about my clothing choices and wearing more flattering pieces makes me feel more beautiful, stand a little taller and walk with more confidence in the world.

Am I going to throw out my sweat pants? Not a chance! But I am certainly going to make more of an effort to pull together clothes that highlight the radiance and health that I feel on the inside. Coloured jeans here I come!